I want more than anything to be over this. I can go weeks at a time without thinking about you yet the second I see any indication of someone else it makes it feel like it happened yesterday. I survived an entire semester without you, half of a year without you, 5 months of amazing friends and moments and memories without you, so get the fuck out my head so I can get through the rest of my life without you. Hopefully by not seeing anything this will all go away. No more catching something I don’t wanna see on instagram or Facebook. I’m smarter now, if only slightly, and I’m not going to deal with this anymore. I’m happy, and who would’ve thought, I’m not with you.
P.S. you did tell me you liked blondes
I have a huge issue with people talking badly about this school. You’re paying almost $30,000 a year to go to this school and you have the nerve to disrespect it? It doesn’t matter if it’s your own words or a simple retweet on twitter, it’s the message you’re sending out. With the hundreds and hundreds of colleges in America, there’s obviously a college, or a path, for every single individual person. Why the hell would you come to a school that “parties too much” when it was your own decision to come here?! I love my school more than anything and obviously I’m not alone, but don’t as a mountaineer take to twitter to put down what you and your family are obviously paying a ridiculous amount of money for, because for you, it seems like a fucking waste.
I really hope you find a cute blonde girl to spend all your time with, and I really hope she makes you happy. I really hope I figure out a way to get past the last little bits of this that are still stuck in my brain. I also hope I lose a few pounds, and maybe stop my bad habits.
I have this constant thought in the back of my mind that this is all temporary and that you’ll change your mind at some point. This is so much harder than I thought it’d be.
I don’t even think things have sunk in yet, which means this is only going to get worse. Every minute another thought pops into my head that makes everything worse. I didn’t ever think it would happen this way, and I’m regretting every decision I made. I solely blame myself for this, and I would give anything to go back in time and change things. I would say more but I just started crying again. I’ll be back later.
"Being apart from the one you love is hard on a good day, and impossible on a bad one." I’ve been watching Orange Is The New Black for two days, and this just stood out to me.